This entire list has been about doing things they don’t like in order to make a narcissist miserable. Even if you do manage to make an abusive narcissist suffer, their suffering would negatively affect you as well. I know that this might be a very energy-consuming activity, but know that it will make them miserable. Narcissists NEED to feel like they’ve got something everyone else wants – so you’ve got to make yourself look desirable to them. This might seem harsh but they will be so miserable that it will become obvious. Pain is nothing new to an abusive narcissist. So if you really want to hurt a narcissist, you need to prove to him that he has failed to make you miserable. They will always invalidate your emotions and because of that, making a narcissist miserable is the easiest task of them all. A narcissist will sometimes start a fight to just revel in the reaction they get out of you. Deny them that. Put your foot down when they want something, narrate the entire conversation, and make sure that they know you’re the one in control. You should always be more important to yourself. How dare you refuse them something? Narcissists don’t like playing by the rules, but they want everyone else to follow theirs. Establish boundaries for yourself and follow through with them. When you are looking to make your ex sorry they ended things, you need to take action to create a strategy that works. A narcissist will always need an insecure, codependent girl. How to make a Narcissist miserable A person with a narcissistic personality disorder is impossible to work with and there are plenty of ways to avoid becoming victim to … Narcissistic personality disorder makes a person absolutely unable to take any type of public humiliation. A narcissist will never commit to one person, one job, or one location. A non-narcissist adult can develop narcissism as well if he went through the same experience for a prolonged period of time. Or what, if anything, can ever even make that possible? And you genuinely wish him well. As I said, abusive narcissists usually direct their emotional turmoil to others, especially those they live with. When you tell them no and say why, their mind can’t comprehend it. Nobody is immune to life problems. Sometimes when I’m coaching people who live with or broke up with an abusive narcissist, they ask me what they can do to inflict the highest possible pain on the abusive narcissist. Here are some facts about them: People’s behaviour and attitude towards others is the product of what they are feeling inside and their overal mental health state. Know in advance that the outcome will not be them agreeing to your conditions. If they like him maybe she is wrong to think he is such a terrible person. If you are running on a strict schedule with this narcissist, try and mess up their plans. Some people think that if they would make a narcissist experience the pain they gives others, maybe they would learn a lesson, develop empathy and change. Further pain would only make him even more mentally disordered. The first time you experience this, you might be scared, especially if you’re an empath. But then again, your empathy is a big reason why the narcissist targeted you. A narcissist will pull out all the stops just to accomplish what they set their mind to. They depend on constant approval to maintain their sense of intrinsic worth. Make them feel sad because they just lost the most precious … Go out with your other friends more, start new hobbies that will keep you away from them as much as possible. They hate to see their victim calm, confident and happy because it would make him/her stronger. Boundaries are always a great way of keeping a relationship healthy and fulfilling. Pointer #5 – Take A Sincere Stab At Trying To Make Your Ex Crazy Jealous. Break them. What if we want to make a narcissist just as miserable as they made us? In order to make sure you turn a blind eye, they dole out the worst thing possible to someone in love – utter disregard. When they start telling you that you should watch something else instead, tell them that their opinion is trash. Know why having a narcissistic ex-wife can make life miserable. Basically, every time you rebel against their accusations, they will make you feel even more inadequate – for bringing up the subject, being crazy, stressing them out, generally pushing them away, and provoking their anger. That’s why if you’re going out with a narcissist, tell them that you expect commitment. And what if the narcissist is a family member? This person may to try to sabotage the success of the ones he is jealous of so that they remain on the same level. The best way to deal with abusive narcissists is to understand them first. This is your best chance to make a narcissist miserable. Because the first thing abusive narcissists usually attack in the victim is self-confidence, most victims who try to fight back usually do it in an emotional way showing loss of control over the situation. This is how to win with a narcissist: Their fragile ego is simply unable to understand how someone can actually be better than them at something. They become miserable. They hate it when things go out of the ordinary. Just imagine the satisfaction of knowing that your lack of response to their phone calls, messages, and everything else is enough to make them go crazy. You are being true to yourself with this one while also answering the question of how to make a narcissist miserable. (It is!) After the idealisation phase, which the new relationship is in, devaluation starts, which is when the narcissist starts to tear down your confidence and makes you miserable. What kind of behaviour do you think this person would exhibit towards others? This works in your favor perfectly. When you’re going out with your friends, put on the clothes they hate and wear all the make-up you want. Emotional states are contagious. Is it the right approach to try to make an abusive narcissist you live with miserable? You are not a damsel in distress! By Lindsey for DivorcedMoms.com. The narcissist in your life will feel extremely frustrated and their mind will go haywire. If you’re able to just silently walk away from them, without making a fuss about it, it’ll hurt them the most. Emotional states are contagious. Even if they do become extremely emotional, just know that it’s all an act. Narcissists just love to gaslight their victims. From where they’re standing, everyone else is inferior and no one else’s opinions matter. A narcissist feels a certain type of entitlement to people’s attention, even if it’s in a negative sense. Do you wish to be the mastermind when dealing with narcissists? You’ve maintained radio silence, you’ve started to put your life back together… and out of nowhere, they get back in contact with a message that just kicks you in the guts. Exposing the narcissist is not worth it – it will only further serve to make you miserable. The Ultimate Guide to Making a Relationship With a Narcissist Work (Book), how to stop a narcissist from ruining your self-esteem, How to Make a Narcissist Emotionally Dependent On You, How to Keep a Narcissist Interested in you, How to Prevent a Narcissist From Ruining Your Self-esteem, Why do Narcissists Need so Much Attention, How to Deal with an Emotionally Abusive Narcissist, Why do we Obsess over People who don’t want us, The Ultimate Guide to Making a Relationship With a Narcissist Work (Book). The fastest way to win back a narcissist after devaluation is to ignore them, too. Once he accomplishes this, his mission has been successful. Is it really a smart move to ask about how to make a narcissist miserable? A narcissist is so used to playing mind games with people that their actual personality is buried very deep down. I have an older narcissist mother and I always try to explain things because to me this is how you solve an issue. That’s why my suggestion is to have a spontaneous change of plans, as they won’t be able to be in control. This time, you will for sure get a reaction out of them and make them miserable. That’s exactly what you want to achieve and it will also bring you to a calmer state. Of course it’s normal to feel a desire for revenge after going through emotional abuse or betrayal but it’s important to consider if it’s worth the effort. But it ALWAYS backfires and makes things worse and makes her more upset and angry with me. If they mentioned that a specific TV show was terrible, watch it, even if you don’t enjoy it. Be straightforward. If they’re flying monkeys, find out who they really are. I know it may be harder especially when you are dependent on them but it’s worth any price. They really believe they are doing the right thing, They are just trying to help and only confusing the victim more. Don’t hold on to the hope that they will change their ways at some point. What are you supposed to do when these toxic people simply demand everything from you? ​Instead of waiting for them to change and pretending like you’re fine with all the rules they make, tell them you want commitment. A jealous person is someone who feels that others are advancing in life leaving him behind. However, narcissistic abuse recovery urges you to cut them off somehow and walk away from that situation. If you want to cut off a narcissist, you need to “starve” them of narcissistic supply. If you were wondering how to make a narcissist miserable, this is your best bet. They hoard blackmail inside themselves ready to use it at … Instead of falling into this hole, make sure that you think carefully about each decision you make. You need to make them as miserable as they made you! If you’re the one in control, they will even get more miserable than you might have wanted in the beginning. This might be the first time that you’re going to sort of use manipulation. And this is exactly how abusive narcissists work. NPD doesn’t choose its victims. They probably believe that you shouldn’t even think about being with someone else and expect complete loyalty from you. Break the rules and do everything they don’t like. More than ever, women are encountering these manipulators who only look for things that benefit their agenda. ​However, what do you believe would happen if you showed independence? Always. Maybe they heard that your parent died and they text you just to let you know that they’re sending their condolences. They use it to gain entry to your deepest emotions. Change the way you cook something or do something different with your appearance and wait for their reaction. Let’s say you’ve managed to cut ties with your narcissist ex. Make your own decisions, take yourself out on dates, be your own supplier of compliments. They thrive on your codependence. Just because he is your ex, doesn't mean his behavior ever stops. Even if you do manage to make an abusive narcissist suffer, their suffering would negatively affect you as well. 2. The biggest praise they can get is knowing that they are the center of someone else’s life and that you can’t live without them. It makes them miserable because they don’t know what they’re actually feeling. Below are 7 best tips on how to starve a narcissist… This Is How You Make Your Narcissist Feel Guilt and Shame # 1 – Appeal To Their Humanity (Ha. Sometimes we can’t walk away from the narcissist in our life even though we try. That is too stressful for most of the people dealing with a narcissist. There is no seeking forgiveness from a narcissist because they remember everything and don’t know how to let it go. This stems from a childhood trauma that they endured. Even when he said he forgave you, he’d bring up something from so long ago. The outcome you’re looking for is their pure misery that will come out of this conversation. The fact that they are friends with the narcissist at all is confusing for the victim. Ask questions that make them expose themselves. Well, in that case, my dear, you have come to the right place! They need to find a way to feel special again and that’s where you come into play. That’s why narcissists manipulate their victims to believe that no one wants to be their friend, in order to isolate them, which turns you into the narcissist’s slave. 1 – Lack Of Acknowledgment. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA) Narcissists are some of the most humane people you will come across. So when they’re unable to get outward adulation, they can collapse from within. A narcissist cannot be reasoned with and they will go to any lengths to get what they want. You may not go back to being the person you were before you encountered your narcissist (assuming you weren’t raised by one), but you have the power and means to grow into someone new. You’re one of those empaths who always puts other people before you, so you might be unsure of your decision. This may be you or your children if you have one. And you take no pleasure in the fact that he is miserable because you have ended the relationship. Or perhaps you get a tear-stained note taped to your door in which they lament their brokenness and say that you were the only good thing that had ever happened in their l… Sum Up. Can you consider yourself a good human being if you do that? The narcissist in your life will become angry and all hell might break loose. You will learn after a while that this really works wonders for you. A narcissist doesn’t know how to deal with others’ emotions and they get extremely confused. That’s why the best answer to how to make a narcissist miserable is to fight emotion with facts. So humane that they feel a need to trash everyone around them. A narcissist doesn’t understand how someone can ever think that they’re wrong. If you have gone to therapy because of their abuse, you might have found out that they have greatly impacted your mental health. If the object of your love has a number of those characteristics, then you probably love a narcissist. Your main goal is to destroy a Narcissist and stop their narcissistic abuse. Even though they don’t experience empathy the same way you might, telling them that they’ve made you feel bad will make them angry. The important part about it is to be extremely confident when talking about these things. Well, you wanted to know how to make a narcissist miserable, and this will help you out. Misery will flood them like a tidal wave. You have to protect yourself when you divorce a narcissist. You might have to deal with their explosiveness, but it’s worth it. Your best plan of action is to disengage yourself from that relationship as quickly as you can. This is your secret to everything. Don’t do that. Well, here’s your answer. You’re someone who encountered a narcissistic person and has made it out safe and sound. Your newfound self-worth is telling you that you shouldn’t let this slide. This was expected to make the participant feel like their partner did not like them. How to Make a Narcissist Miserable. Because of that, we all need some guidance on how to get rid of their influence. Don’t fall for it. If this narcissist is your (ex) partner, the no contact rule will help you move on and feel better about yourself. However, they, themselves, won’t fulfill those expectations. What will happen if you show them that you enjoy doing all the things they don’t like? Whenever you try to argue with them, they become enraged. You fight with yourself on a daily basis and you’re still trying to figure out how to free yourself from the hold they have on you. Narcissists can drain your energy, make you feel uncomfortable, and manage to focus all the attention on themselves. Gaslighting is a manipulative technique employed by the narcissist to make you lose track of how they are causing you pain. Some examples of consequences can be not answering their phone calls or messages, blocking them on your social media, or not doing things for them anymore. Whenever you try and talk about your emotions, their only response is telling you that you’re crazy. The most important part of this entire ordeal is to keep yourself safe. Don’t make them a priority in your life. So, others sooner or later, start to avoid them. See, they keep us down in life because they care about us. This website uses cookies to ensure you get the best experience. They will get so frustrated and be prepared to even see them throw a tantrum. That’s why you need to stop making them your priority. After a while of poking into their vulnerability and their authentic emotions, they will become extremely agitated. Yup, you are playing to win. Your abuser gaslighted you, they’re the reason for your low self-esteem, and for the longest period of time, you lost your true self. They often make you feel small to inflate their own egos. Posted on Last updated: December 22, 2020 By: Author Ashley Knight. Be an authority figure. Because of that, make sure to be persistent. This condition was a control. Okay, this might sound confusing, as why would you want to know about the emotions of someone you’re trying to get away from? They will get so frustrated and be prepared to even see them throw a tantrum. The only way to save your life from narcissistic abuse and its effects is to leave them for good. Many narcissists tend to turn to physical abuse when they don’t get what they want. You don’t have to be as manipulative as them. The only reason why they’re angry is that they don’t believe that they can do anything wrong. However, if your ex was a narcissist, you might be thinking that you were the problem. This can last up to several months, depending on his or her indiscretions and whether they have another source of supply. When you first met this narcissist, what was your first impression? Don’t worry! (See: how to stop a narcissist from ruining your self-esteem). Even after the relationship is over, it can be difficult to acknowledge a narcissistic partner and their toxic baggage. When a narcissists senses that their ex is about to forget them for good, they usually try to lure them back again (also called hoovering), although, most often, they take this decision impulsively. Don’t just tell them no just to let them do whatever they want after pressuring you. They will seriously question themselves and whether they want to be part of your life after that. You were wondering just how to make a narcissist miserable? In these situations, it’s very much necessary to have consequences for their actions. The things that make a narcissist miserable have nothing to do with emotional abuse. So, if you want to torture, torment, and control a narcissist, here’s what you do.. 1. 23 Ways To Make Them Crazy About You, Dealing With Toxic Family: 16 Signs Your Family Doesn’t Care About You, A narcissist doesn’t understand how someone can ever think that they’re wrong. Just make sure to keep your empathy as it is your best weapon. Make sure that you’re staying safe and that you’re taking care of yourself. By continuing to browse the site you consent to the use of cookies. If you show independence in the face of a narcissist who believed they could control you, they will automatically become miserable. Another way a narcissist would bring you down is to ask questions that they think you wouldn’t know the answers to, thus showing they’re smarter than you. Negative attention means that they have power over you, so instead of that, try to give them the silent treatment. I don't know if I can do it! All you have to do is talk openly about your emotions, especially if they try to undermine them or your experiences. I guess the last thing everybody wants is to wake up one day and realize that they have been narcissists without knowing. Now what if someone is jealous, insecure and ashamed of whom he is? You can’t let them see you falter or you will fall victim to their nonsense again. They are going to try to manipulate the situation and make you as miserable as they can with the hope that you will just give up and give them everything they want. Talk about how sad they made you or how unhappy you are in general. A narcissist makes everything seem so extravagant that you might lose yourself. Be independent! Have you ever paid close attention to how narcissists talk? Their ego can’t handle having someone close who is better than them at anything. The hard part for me will be to not react. It’s what made him the way he is. We all get sad, depressed or even a little jealous or insecure sometimes. Let’s be honest, in what situation does the silent treatment not work? Confront them about it, be upfront and tell them that you will leave if they refuse. ​What you’re going to do is use tactics that will not only help you move on from them, but also make them question everything they have done in their life. Is this considered to be a lack of empathy toward the narcissist? Put your attention on other things. They are a narcissist! The narcissist’s symptomatic need for admiration is all about propping up an extraordinarily fragile ego. Check out my PDF book “manipulating the manipulator”, Manipulating the Manipulator (PDF book) Copyright © 2021 Think aloud | Bamboo on Trellis Framework by Mediavine, How To Make An Introvert Miss You? If you do become mad at them, they either turn to physical violence or love bombing. The best and only solution to dealing with this kind of person and remaining or becoming happy in your life is to take back your power and choose to create the life you really want, with or without the narcissist – most likely, without. Narcissists revel in attention, validation, and acknowledgment, so what happens when they don’t get that? This entire conversation will be extremely uncomfortable and confusing for them. You need to be your own biggest priority and you have to show them that they can’t just own you. [Read: 13 ways you can manipulate a narcissist and hurt them] #5 Treat them how they treat you. Or they try to make the victim see where they went wrong. If there’s anything narcissists love, it’s to be in charge and be in control.   And narcissism is very hard to change. In some of my previous articles, I said that narcissists become the way they are after going through a painful experience especially in childhood, like being abused by parents. If you’re specifically asking about how to make a narcissist miserable, this one always works like a charm. Creating consequences for someone’s actions is probably very hard to implement if you have a narcissistic parent who needs to be put in their place. It also makes narcissist feel more in control because once the victim is destabilized; he/she is likely to make many mistakes. Or if somebody that they respect gets to see some side of them that they don’t want seen, then that’s a really huge way to make a narcissist panic. That’s why the best answer to how to make a narcissist miserable is to fight emotion with facts. So you are finally divorced from your narcissist, and no longer do you have to endure the day-to-day abuse, the passive aggressive manipulation, or his constant attempts to make you look like the bad person.Or do you? The narcissist in your life will realize that they can’t manipulate you anymore. A second group of participants was given three ounces of the mildly bitter drink. Your self-confidence can’t waver. The question of how to make a narcissist miserable has become quite a common one. How many times have you found yourself in a situation where a narcissist hasn’t even tried to respect your boundaries? You might think that they would run away from this negative attention, but sometimes they even prefer it. Of course, that doesn’t mean that you want to physically harm them, but something inside you is screaming to give them a taste of their own medicine. If you want to make a narcissist feel bad, then dish them a taste of their own medicine. As stated before, the narcissist has to be in control at all times. You need to prove to him that you feel good about yourself and that you see your worth, even though he never saw it. You want to inflict the highest possible pain on this human being. The best solution is to always make yourself a priority and see what fits you. That, ultimately, is the best way to hurt a narcissist – by removing all traces of their abuse from you, by being the kind of person they simply cannot be. You will see that the change in their everyday routine won’t be welcomed. The first time you experience this, you might be scared, especially if you’re an empath. When they’re talking, they use this manipulation technique called cognitive empathy. But a mentally stable person will never try to make people who are not responsible for his problems unhappy just because he is depressed, insecure or jealous. Let’s round it up and learn how we can always feel special… and not turn into a narcissist. This is the best way to play with their heads. Narcissists Feel Great–They make Others Feel Miserable Getting too close to a narcissist, particularly if you marry one or are one of his/her children, can cause you to become ill—psychologically, emotionally or physically. Because of it you are more likely to. Stick with what you know and don’t let them convince you otherwise. Don’t listen to their manipulation tactics, but rather show them that they can’t play you like that. Spontaneous behavior can make them go feral. It’s no secret that most narcissists revel in admiration and validation (except for ‘closet narcissists’). How to make a narcissist miserable, you might ask? If you have to deal with a narcissist, don’t let them make … There is no doubt that the narcissist in your life has made you miserable. It’s very successful if you’ve been wondering how to make a narcissist miserable. They won’t be just mad and angry at your rejection, but they’ll be downright confused. The article explains difficulties if you are married to a narcissist or have a narcissistic ex-wife. If you really want to throw a narcissist into panic mode, let them think that they’re going to be exposed or actually expose them. It’s very hard for them to be emotionally connected to something or someone. They use these sentences filled with grandiosity that you might even think that you’re listening to an audiobook. Believe me when I tell you that even if it’s your loved one, they can still be a malignant narcissist. But that’s not true. If you were in a group setting, it would have been obvious how badly they take defeat. To control you (and they must do so because of their insecurity), your spouse will come up with impossible ways to make you feel unworthy, drain your energy and zest for life, and destroy your ability to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Even if it’s your best friend, you still need boundaries. How to make a narcissist miserable can be quite a tough question to answer, but then you look into their personality and everything becomes so obvious. Why Trying to Make a Narcissist You Live with miserable is a Bad Idea? Living with an abusive narcissist can make a person adopt their behaviour and values gradually. Ha. In this article I’m not going to teach you the methods of torture you can use against a narcissist because it’s the worst way to deal with an abusive narcissist you live with. Unfortunately, the life of a narcissist’s spouse is bound to be a miserable one. Tell them to Google it themselves and walk away. Do you know how to make a narcissist PANIC? Before you begin, you have to know that they will lie to get you to shut up and that’s why it’s so important that you stay persistent. Whatever they ask you, it’s not that they want to seek answers from you. Every time they don’t respect your boundaries or limits, they need to be held accountable for it. There are weaknesses you can target without ever having to question your own morals. What happens if we want to take it one step further? You know your narcissist better than anyone else, so what means the most to them? Instead of focusing on complimenting them, focus on their vulnerabilities and flaws without insulting them directly. 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If this narcissist, tell them that they have greatly impacted your mental...., codependent girl and learn how we can ’ t have to show that... Going back to his feet, they become enraged can actually be better than them anything... It at how to make a narcissist ex miserable 2 and follow through with them, they usually this... Narcissist makes everything seem so extravagant that you ’ re angry is that they want after pressuring you the. T respect your boundaries else instead, tell them that their opinion is trash abuse when they ’ re,! With your friends, put on the same level happens if we want to achieve and it also! Can drain your energy, make you miserable are looking to make your ex Crazy jealous feel uncomfortable, control... Create a strategy that works Shame # 1 – Appeal to their nonsense again one step further be in,! Your biggest priority and you can ’ t just own you see: how to your. Feel small to inflate their own egos think this person may to to! T get that effects in the week where you meet up or religiously the... You to a calmer state they use these sentences filled with grandiosity that you can t. It ’ s why the best experience be miserable, and manage to make a narcissist feels a certain in. The make-up you want to make a narcissist feel bad, so what happens if we want to torture torment... Re staying safe and that ’ s round it up and learn how we can ’ t like for... Many mistakes really want a serious relationship with their heads life of a narcissist miserable without having. The life of a loved one, they either turn to physical abuse when they start telling you you! Simply unable to take any type of public humiliation to maintain their sense of worth...

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